God always puts us where we need to be. Last night it was Sunday evening service at The Crossing.
Just when you think everything is good and can't get any better, God shows up and shows out... and proves you wrong. :)
What an amazing sermon on David & Goliath, both yesterday morning and evening. It really opened up our hearts and minds on some things going on. For me I realized that I do still have some giants in my life. Some physical giants, and some spiritual ones.
I can't even begin to describe how I felt last night accurately. All I know is I felt some major tuggage of the heart strings, and I know now that I still have a lot to accomplish in my life. My dreams that got put on hold so long ago are beginning to resurface. Ever since I can remember I wanted to sing, and do nothing else. Now the opportunity is here, and the devil is trying to get to me. He plants the nervousness in my mind. This is my spiritual giant. I've got to overcome the anxiety I start to feel when I'm up there, alone, in front of a crowd.
I know yesterday's skit could have gone better... I wasn't able to focus on the music, and we got ahead. My heart was too busy racing that I raced right through the beginning with it! And the same thing tends to happen when I get up to sing. But when I'm with the praise team I don't feel this. I know that we are glorifying God (and that I'm drowned out by the group) and so I don't feel anxious or nervous. When I did my special last week, I started out nervous, but as soon as I focused on the ONE being I needed to glorify, it all went away. If I can keep that in mind moving forward, I know over time the nervousness will disappear altogether.
I know in my heart that God sent me a message last night. When Todd said something about continuing a dream from 15 years ago; well it could only be one thing. And there was no way for him to know what my heart was when I was 11 years old. I still have so much I want to be doing with my life... I wish I had more time in the day to do it. Life itself has put hurdles in the way, but I pray that in time I will move past those hurdles. In time God will provide the means for my dreams to come to the forefront more so than the back burner.
And in addition to my dreams, I know I need to work harder at supporting my husband, and being a better example for my children. I need to slow down and enjoy what time I have with them. Those relationships, and another that has been weighing heavily on my heart, are important to me. I need to keep my family relationships strong.
There is one physical giant that has blocked some of those relationships from growing like I had always hoped they would. But I want to throw that rock. I want that giant to come crashing down so that I can rebuild these relationships. But I am also so grateful for my spiritual brothers and sisters who have been there for me lately. I realized last night that I am surrounded by loving and supportive men and women at The Crossing, and that those relationships will be very important in my spiritual walk.