Saturday, March 26, 2011

Putting God First

I think people misconceptualize the concept of putting marriage or the husband before the children... there is more depth to it than just who gets served dinner first, or "taken care of" in general. I don't neglect my kids. I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt my kids. I will never be forced to choose my kids over my husband, but if he were selfish enough to ask I would choose my kids in a heartbeat... DH and I are a team, and I think that is in the best favor of our children, b/c they need stability. 

Now mind you, I don't LOVE one MORE than the other. My love for God is different than my love for my husband and children... a mother's love for her children is a different kind of love than ANY other love, is it not? And the same goes for the love for DH... it's a different kind of love than that I have for God or my children.

But I put them in the above order for this reason: As a Christian family, God is our rock, our foundation. He comes first, b/c without a foundation the house cannot stand. DH is the head of our home, or you could even say our "walls", and without a strong marriage our home will crumble. If DH and I aren't happy, then our entire family will be miserable. And (as a Christian family) if we didn't have God's guidance we will not be happy.

But I have said, and DH understands, that if the house were on fire and I had to choose between helping him get out or getting the kids, I would choose the kids... they are not big enough to help  themselves, and it is my job as their mother to protect them in any situation. The same goes for the "if your husband and children were held at gunpoint and you had to choose" senario...

In a good marriage, in the instance losing a husband or a child, one is not worse than the other, they are the same. To say that losing a child is worse than losing a spouse...the only real difference is that you have two people mourning the loss of a child that can be there to support each other instead of one person being left without emotional support and still having to raise a family alone. It would be just as emotionally traumatizing to lose my spouse as it would be to lose my child. In the end you can't REPLACE anyone. You can have more children. You can remarry... neither of which is REPLACING anyone. It's moving on with life the best one can. 

What it boils down to is that I love God, my husband, and my children more than life. And I want to serve them each in the best capacity I can. I cannot serve my family right without God's guidance, and I cannot serve my kids right without a united front with my husband and a healthy marriage. 

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